Why You Can Overcome Suicidal Thoughts: Stories of Hope and Resilience
Dese’ Rae L. Stage, a survivor of a suicide attempt, knows that it’s possible to overcome suicidal thoughts. She has interviewed over 188 people in 37 cities across the U.S. who have attempted to end their lives but didn’t succeed. According to Stage, nine out of 10 people who attempt to take their own lives and survive do not ultimately die by suicide.
Coping with Suicidal Thoughts
Stage emphasizes that coping with suicidal thoughts can get easier with time, particularly once a person develops a set of skills to help manage negative or volatile emotions. Safety planning and creating a support network are crucial. She also highlights that not everyone who becomes suicidal has an obvious or diagnosed mental illness.
The Importance of Reminding Life’s Small Pleasures
Stage shares that she keeps a list of things that bring her joy, such as going to the movies alone, walking with a giant cup of coffee, and regular Zoom chats with her best friends who live too far away to meet in person. She learned the importance of reminding herself of life’s small pleasures after her suicide attempt.
Why People Attempt and Die by Suicide (It’s Not Always Mental Illness)
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than half of those who died by suicide between 1999 and 2016 didn’t have a known mental health condition. Stage notes that people often overlook other known factors related to trauma and adversity, such as relationship problems, substance use, financial struggles, health issues, and sudden crises.
The Power of Human Resilience
Stage’s initiative, Live Through This, documents the portraits and stories of suicide attempt survivors. The community of survivors offers support and solidarity, often through a private Facebook group. When asked if members of the group would share their reasons for living, they responded with the following answers:
- I stay because I discovered I’m not ready to go. – Lex Tobin
- I stay because living and loving are not possible if I am gone. I would miss all of this senseless beauty. Making the world a better place for my granddaughters is worth any pain. – Cheryl Sharp
- I stay because I’m now in a unique position to educate, advocate, offer hope, and save lives. [Two] specifically that I know of. – Liz Mitchell
- A dear friend’s brother died by suicide several years ago. The memory of his funeral — of the intense singular suffering that comes with losing a loved one to suicide — has kept me from ever attempting suicide again. No matter how bad my depression gets, I know that there are people who would be devastated if they lost me, and when it’s too hard for me to live for myself, when every cell in my body wants to give up, I tell myself that I will keep living for them, and I do. And bonus: Eventually the depression lifts, because with time it always lifts, and I’m able to start living for myself again as well. – Melody Moezzi
- I feel like overcoming a lot has put me in a position where I’m able to help people. At this point, I feel like one of my purposes in life is to educate people on suicide via a lived experience perspective — something I feel we don’t see enough of. That keeps me going if I have bad days. – Caitlin Coleman
- I stay for my dog, I stay for my family, I stay to see what I’ll create next. – Logan
- I stayed for my sisters, my grandparents, and I eventually came to accept, I stayed for me. – N.P.
- I stayed for myself and for my kids who accepted me as their mom with all my flaws and my talent! – Nancy Nettles
- I stay because my students deserve an adult who always puts them first and fights for their well-being. – Marie
- I stay because if I leave, what is my story going to tell? I want to be stronger than that. I want to be more vulnerable with the precious friends and family around me. I want those people that are feeling the way I have felt, to know that things can get better. To know it’s OK to ask for help even if it seems stupid. To realize that maybe one day you’ll find what you are looking for, but even if you don’t, things will be OK. I want to have a story. Not one cut short by frustration. – Cayla
- I stay because there are so many more adventures to be had and so many fires of hope in people’s souls to ignite. – Rhianna Brand
- I stay because I finally found long-term happiness. While it was terrifying to realize that I now had to relearn how to function as a happy person, it was worth it all. I stay because I want people to know of all the things I live with, and have lived through, and see that I am not only still here, but I am truly happy. I stayed to be a source of hope to those facing situations like mine; for those who feel forgotten and alone. – Cecelia Markow
- I stay because I was given a second chance at life so I stay because 1) I want to honor the people who saved my life and 2) I’m stubborn. – Tina Aspegren
- I stay because life is full of beautiful surprises that I can’t even fathom yet. I know there will be pain too, but I’ve learned to cope so much better. I think of all I would’ve missed out on if my attempt was successful, the most important that I never would’ve been an aunt and watch my nieces grow. I stay so they will have me to support them. – Melanie Demoree
- I stay with the help of my service dog, Hero. Medicines don’t work and I was going to give up until he came along. – Megan Alldredge
- I chose to stay so that I could have the opportunity to help others choose life over suicide. – Teagan Kempe
- I stay for the loves of my life (boyfriend and dog) and for the adventure of writing. And [because] when I stay, I can help others to stay as well. – Jen Karner
- I choose to stay for my two cats, the people I love and hold dear, the next gorgeous sunrise and epic thunderstorm, and the next good book or awesome cup of tea. The biggest reason I choose to stay is because I’m not ready to choose to go. – Ashley Shoemaker
- I’m not who I thought I was. I want to stick around and find out who I become. – Paul Currington
Conclusion
While suicidal thoughts can be overwhelming, it’s crucial to remember that there is hope. These stories of resilience and determination demonstrate that it’s possible to overcome suicidal thoughts and find a reason to keep living. If you’re feeling suicidal or experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional for support.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What are the signs of suicidal thoughts?
- How can I get help for suicidal thoughts?
- What are some coping strategies for suicidal thoughts?
- How can I support a friend or loved one who is struggling with suicidal thoughts?
Resources
- Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988
- Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
- Trevor Project: 866-488-7386
- Crisis Text Line: Text "START" to 741-741
- NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (1-800-950-6264)
- International Resources: [insert international resources]
